The little things I want

I love you and you don't even know it yet. But that is okay with me, you don't have too. I don't put much faith in love these days, but I do hold out hope. Things grow in time and I love that.  I want those movie moments. The quite smiles and awkward laughs. The small secret kisses when everything is so new. I wonder if you ever think about things like that. I wonder where you are or what you are doing right now. We aren't even aware of what this will become but I am already falling in love with our life together. I see things in magazines like a nice bed with a heart made of all these different photo frames and I think of us. Having that above our bed filled with our family and friends. How nice it would be to have those memories of life and the love that will be built. I'm a sap and I have high hopes, but I won't get in to deep. While I can see this taking off and being something amazing I will wait. I will wait for things to fall together. I will be waiting for you the sweep me off my feet and say something amazing to me. And when we find it, it's okay to be scared, but lets be sacred together. There is so much to do, and there is so much fun to be had, and so many memories to make. Please don't let that day be to far off, I know love you already.

I like your shoes

You called me a tease
so I called you a flirt
and maybe you were imagining me in bed
but I was imagining you with a twirly mustache
and that night for the first time I forgot why I hated my body
and started thinking about yours
and later
when I said I liked your shoes
I meant"stay"
saying I liked your shoes was pretty
unnecessary anyways
because everything you say or do
leaves me awestruck
including wearing shoes.

Sweet torment

sweet lies are in the face

that turns towards me.

Alone I am, in sweet torment.

with my heart torn in two.

How cold is the heart that plays  you,

and how warm is the one you push away?

The eyes that warm you most,

are the eyes that there is nothing behind.....

they hold you down with that imperfect

Gaze......

force feeding you lie after lie,

so in the end that's all you have left.....

and all those lies, i have come to realize are

memories......

What we know of love

 

What could have been

should have been

would have been

are thoughts whispered to often, but it softens

the realities of what we know of love.

Hell on heels

Getting off the bike, she's a pretty young thing.
with a wicked strut, and her skin tight jeans.
She’s hell on heels, a heart with seams,
The best and worst of every memory.
She’s a cold glass of water on a winter day
no self for her heart, so it always runs away.
Its a game of tricks, a slide of hand,
She's the sweetest kiss on the toughest man.
A short fused mama, ready to blow
why a man lets her go, god only knows
a 10 in the sack, an ace with a gun.
She shoots you that look, and away you run.
to that moment and place where time stands still,
you can fight the tide but not her will.
The perfect bitch, a lot to handle,
she lives on the run,and  she feeds of scandal.
violence is glamour, she’s glamorous.
with those pretty painted words, your can always trust.
Crime is a passion,  hopes a toy
smile for a while, fake the joy.
say good bye for now, she’s probably weak,
say good bye sign your lies with a kiss on the cheek

Putty

I kissed him hard so he wouldn't forget the impressions of my lips.

I pressed my face into his chest expecting it to be like silly putty,

so he would reflect my feelings back.

I was terrified to realize when i pulled away it was distorted and stretched beyond recognition.

Why was i surprised?

Why did i sink so hard into this?

Why did i expect anymore from him, than all the others.

I know what i have seen, what i have heard and felt.

But i continue to fight, and hope for a man not of putty but of clay.

Not to be lose in my hands and make and a cheap transfer,

but to mold with me and shape together

to become one full, content, solid piece of life

Papa

I remember listening to the 60s and making flap jacks on the ship

I remember the flea markets and the regular camping trips.

You gave me my imagination, my creativeness, my heart.

you were my papa and my dad from the very start.

I remember yard work and matching flannel shirts,

I remember billy bob, and sometimes it still hurts.

I remember lady luck and dart boards,

I remember your face, and that your not here anymore.

when all is said and done i'll pour the beer on your grave,

and smile for you like i did in the good old days.

i miss you so much, its still hard to believe your gone

its been 10 years, and i am still holding on.