What time is it?

Today, even the sound of the water hitting my skin hurts.

It's starting to get harder and harder to be a human.

The constant circular motion of everyday life is starting to wear me thin.

I feel like i'm standing still in my life while everything, and everyone swirls around me. 

Is this where life begins?

I don't have many definite things in my life at 19.

I don't have a love life, a job, or many friends.

I have family and a house for now, but i will be leaving that behind in a few months, and taking a gamble on love. 

please don't let me down, am i making the right choice?

Laying in the dark, in my damp room, i wonder what time it is outside.

The light that comes creeping through the crack in my window shade dances.

How many clocks are ticking at this very moment? how many people are slipping away? how many people are being born into this world?

To many questions for....what time is it?

Close Enough

Your eye were like mirrors, and your hands were like fences.
My heart was a wall, and we never did get close enough.

wise words

this old man said that he and his wife had stayed together for so long

not because they'd never fallen out of love with one another

but because they'd never done so at the same time

one of them  always brought the other back, made things right

Implode

The sandman sleeps while those meant to dream stay awake pondering the evils of the world. 
Those meant to dream that are forced into reality are those that become the corrupt and evil. 
Striving to balance childhood and adulthood there is no easy balance. 
You will sell out, you will give up, and you will falter. 
When you do don't let the poison in your eyes, 
hate in your heart, 
and the venom in your words, 
destroy your world around you.

Constellations

Constellations buzzed around your head and I made wishes on every star I could see. 
Never had desire shine so bright. 
Your eyes so deep and alluring like black holes. 
The green rings around those pits served as supernovas. 
Hot white stars could never compare to your skin is a brushed against mine, the contrast almost blinded me. Time stopped, I was stuck in a paradox staring at your lips, your smile, the way you moved when you laughed. You were only one point in the universe, but there you were holding time together effortlessly.

I was your star

I was made of stars once too, ya know.
It really wasn't that long ago,
Millions of lights flowed around me, in rhythm.
Weaving clothes, writing words, and dancing dances.
 It was warm when I smiled.
My foot steps echoed notes that rang through the universe.
Happy songs, then you looked up you saw me tinkling.
My eyes locked with yours and I let go.
I fell from the sky,
Burning as a white hot flame, cooling as I crashed through the atmosphere.
I landed
The grass was wet and every blade reflected my glow.
I flickered and I looked at you
And in that moment
I was that twinkle in your eye,
All the wishes you had been making
And all the times you had counted me
And i was finally here.

I will love you

Well it looks like this is going to be a long haul. I feel complete again and I wrote this for him:

"Its 4am and I love you. In 2 years I will love you. I loved you 5 months ago before i even knew your name. In 2 years, 5 months, and 6 weeks, I will love you. When I am 70 years old and sitting on my porch in a big white house on a lake, I will love you. I just hope you are there for all the time I will love you."